PRESENTED    BY    THE 

BLACK  RIVER  INSURANCE  CO.,  Watertown,  N.  Y. 


.Mf-y^y'^^ 


■fip 


A  Ijsgeyid  of  Vhicmgo, 


C.     C.     HINE. 


Tlie    Insrirance    Monitor. 

1873. 


BLACK  RIVER 

Insurance  Company, 

WATERTOWN,  N.  Y. 


CASH  CAPITAL, 


[250,000. 


LOVELAND  PADDOCK,  President. 

GiLDEROY  Lord,  ist  Vice-President. 

Jno.  L.  Baker,  2d  Vice-President. 
Grin  C.  Frost,  Secretary. 

Geo.  F.  Paddock,  Treasurer. 

Daniel  C.  Osmun,  Gen'l  Agent. 


DIRECTORS. 


LOVELAND  PADDOCK, 
L.  D.  DOOLITTLE, 
JNO.  L.  BAKER, 
MERRIT  ANDRUS, 
DANIEL  C.  OSMUN, 
GEO.  F.  PADDOCK, 
G.  W.  GOODRICH, 


J.  H.  VAN  ANTWERP, 
HON.  J.  MULLIN, 
GILDEROY  LORD, 
H.  M.  BALL, 
WM.  M.  COBURN, 
JOSEPH  RIVET, 
JOHN  C.  WRIGHT, 


HENRY  SPICER. 


[Shortly  after  the  Chicago  firo,  there  appeared  a  dismal-looking  photograph  card  of  this  cele- 
brated bovine,  on  tho  reveree  of  which  was  printed  this  remarkable  legend  : 

"OKIGIN  OF   THE    CHICAGO   FIRK. 

"On  tho  other  side  of  this  sard  wiU  be  found  a  life-like  picture  of  Mrs.  Leary  and  the  cow  that 
kicked  over  tho  lamp  that  caused  ttie  great  fire  in  Chicago. 

"Mrs.  Leary  got  her  living  by  selling  milk  ;  she  had  five  cows,  and  kept  thorn  in  her  barn  on 
De  Koven  street,  on  the  west  side  of  tho  river.  A  neighbor  woman  called  on  hor  for  a  pint  of 
milk  at  nine  o'clock  Sunday  night,  October  Sth,  and  Mrs.  Leary,  having  sold  all  she  had,  went  to 
tho  barn  with  her  lamp  to  make  a  further  draft  on  her  best  cow.  The  cow,  as  seen  by  the 
picture,  being  a  spirited  animal,  became  indignant  at  the  attempt,  kicked  over  tho  lamp,  settiug 
the  barn  on  fire,  and  thus  inaugui-ated  the  greatest  fii'O  tho  world  has  ever  seen."] 

MRS.    LEARY'S    COW. 

THIS  IS  THE  Cow,  at  the  Leary  back  gate, 
Where  she  stood  on  the  night  of  October  the  8, 


MRS.    LEART'S    COW. 

With  her  old  crumpled  horn  and  belligerent  hoof, 
Warning  all  '^neighbor  women  "  to  keep  well  aloof. 
Ah  !  this  is  the  cow  with  the  crumpled  horn 
That  kicked  over  the  lamp  that  set  fire  to  the  barn 
That  caused  the  Great  Fire  in  Chicago  ! 

THIS  IS  Chicago,  all  blasted  and  burned, 
The  Paradise  whither  insurance  men  turned  ; 
But  from  which  thej  now  bring  sad  faces  away, 
Sorely  vexed  with  the  losses  they're  called  on  to  pay, 
Since  the  fire-fiend  encircled  the  city  that  day. 
And  they  swear  at  the  cow  with  the  crumpled  horn 
That  kicked  over  the  lamp  that  set  fire  to  the  barn 
That  caused  the  Great  Fire  in  Chicago  ! 


THB  FIBE  FIESD  ENCIKCLEU  TUJE  CITY. 


MRS.    LEARY'S    COW. 

THIS  IS  THE  Frame  Range  of  best  northern  i)inc, 
The  banquet  on  which  hungry  flames  love  to  dine, 
Which  agents  so  oft  manage  not  to  decline, 
But  write  (in  their  slop-bowls)  a  "  moderate  line," 
Because — don't  you  see — the  commish  is  so  fine. 


THE  FRAME  RANGE. 


Ha !  this  is  the  range  which  delighted  to  carry 
The  passenger  flames  o'er  the  devil's  own  ferry, 
And  utilize  mischief  by  spreading  it  faster 
Than  men  could  compete  with  the  fearful  disaster. 

How  sad  and  how  strange  are  the  memories  nou- 
Which  hang  round  the  heels  of  that  old  Leary  cow- 
That  wretched  old  cow  with  the  crumpled  horn 
That  kicked  over  the  lamp  that  set  fire  to  the  barn 
That  caused  the  Great  Fire  in  Chicago  ! 


6 


MRS.    LEARY's   cow. 


THIS  IS  THE  Company,  gloomy  and  glum, 
Which  admits  that  it  has  some  few  (?)  losses,  jes  some  1 
But  its  officers  think  their  best  motto  is  ^'  mum," 
As  they  stroke  their  gray  chins  and  look  wise  and  sing  dumb 


THE  COMPANY  GLOOMY  AUD  GI.UM. 


While  inside  they  are  praying,  ''  Good  Lord,  please  deliver 

Our  souls  from  the  fear  of  old  Miller's  receiver." 

And  they  view  with  the  most  acrimonious  hate 

That  regurgitant  cow  at  O'Leary's  back  gate. 

As  she  stood  on  the  night  of  October  the  8, 

When  she  kicked  at  the  lamp  that  set  fire  to  the  barn 

That  caused  the  Oreat  Fire  in  Chicago  ! 


MRS.    LEARY'S   COW. 

THIS  IS  THE  Statement  the  Company  made  : 
(Directors  and  Officers  thickly  arrayed, 
To  soften  the  jar  as  tliey  strike  the  up  grade, 
Where  the  millions  of  losses  will  have  to  be  paid.) 

"  Our  agency  records,  we  deeply  regret. 

Are  burned  at  Chicago,  are  out  in  the  wet. 

Or  else  there  is,  h — m,  there  is  some  slight  impediment. 

Some  something-or-other,  some  sand  or  some  sediment 

Has  got  in  the  keyhole,  disordered  the  lock, 

Or  razeed  the  dividends,  watered  the  stock. 

Or  some  trifling  thing  not  yet  quite  in  sight ; 

But  the  Companp,  sir,  is  all  right,  is  all  right  ; 


THE  STATEMENT  THE  COMPAKY  MADE. 


Our  surplus  is  safe,  and  our  stock  is  intact. 
Our  losses  are  all  reinsured — why,  in  fact. 


MES.    LEART'S    COW. 

We  never,  in  all  our  official  career, 

Felt  more  gay  and  festive,  more  full  of  good  cheer. 

Just  put  up  the  rates  and  go  on  with  the  biz, 

These  losses  will  all  be  arranged  with  a  whiz. 

The  thing  we  will  have  straightened  out  in  a  jifiy, 

And  the  next  that  you'll  hear  will  be  ten  per  cent,  divvy." 

But  you  ought  to  have  seen  them  when,  in  the  back  room, 
They  poured  out  anathemas  like  a  mill-flume 
On  that  old  Leary  cow  with  the  crumpled  horn 
That  kicked  over  the  lamp  that  set  fire  to  the  bam 
That  caused  the  Great  Fire  in  Chicago  ! 


IN  THE  BACK  BOOM. 


MRS.   LEARY's   cow. 


9 


THIS  is  November,  a  month  from  the  fire  ; 
And  the  ascertained  losses  reach  higher  and  higher. 
As  the  figures  go  up  the  long  faces  go  down, 
Till  the  month-ago-bo aster  appears  like  a  clown. 
The  trick  of  deception  is  voted  a  sham  ; 

The  people  say /rami,  and  the  agents  say , 

And  the  grim  old  receivers  call  round  for  the  keys, 
The  assets,  the  papers,  the  books,  if  you  please. 


iMM> 


jtXD  SQUEEZE  HIMSELF  THROnGH  THE  SMALL  EXD  OF  A  HOHN. 

Of  all  unwelcome  things  that  this  world  ever  saw. 
The  bitterest  is  a  compulsory  craiv. 
For  a  large-swelling  dignity,  proud  and  high  born. 
Who  claims  that  his  status  is  bright  as  the  morn, 
To  get  down  and  meekly  acknowledge  the  com. 
And  squeeze  himself  through  the  small  end  of  a  horn. 


10 


MRS.    LEARY's   cow. 


Suggests  that  a  little  less  premature  crowing, 
A  little  mor  J  system,  a  little  more  knowing, 
Some  better  kept  books  and  more  acc-arate  showing, 
Are  best,  in  the  long  run,  for  our  underwriters. 
To  save  them  the  sneers  and  the  jeers  of  backbiters, 
The  scoffs  of  the  pviblic,  the  quips  of  the  writers, 
And  a  toss  from  the  cow  with  the  crumpled  horn 
That  kicked  over  the  lamp  that  set  fire  to  the  barn 
That  caused  the  Great  Fire  in  Chicaffo  ! 


THE  CLAIMANT  SO  rUUE  AM)  SO  IIILD. 


TPIIS  13  THE  Claimant,  so  pure  and  so  mild, 
With  his  heart  and  his  manners  as  bland  as  a  child, 
Whose  amiability  never  is  riled,  , 

And  whose  modest  demands  with  his  loss  proofs  are  filed. 


MRS.    LEARY'S   cow, 


11 


His  property  cost,  as  he  shows  from  his  deeds, 

A  sum  which  ten  thousand  times  over  exceeds 

The  mite  of  insurance  for  which  he  now  pleads. 

His  goods,  to  be  sure,  they  were  mostly  sold  out  ; 

His  building  within  was  a  shell,  and  without 

Was  veneered  with  cheap  stone,  or  thin  iron,  or  grout ; 

But  his  word,  bless  my  soul !  who  could  harbor  a  doubt, 

Its  truthfulness  or  its  exactness  about  ? 

So  he  pockets  his  funds,  and  he  rolls  up  his  eyes. 

This  mild-mannered  man,  with  a  cheerful  surprise  ; 

And  he  rubs  his  two  hands  with  an  innocent  glee, 

Which  would  do,  I  am  sure,  your  heart  good  for  to  see, 

As  he  blesses  the  cow  with  the  crumpled  horn 

That  kicked  over  the  lamp  that  set  fire  to  the  barn 

That  caused  the  Great  Fire  in  Chicago  ! 

THIS  IS  AN  Adjuster  !  Now  open  your  eyes. 
A  man  who  the  trade  of  rapacity  plies  ! 


AN  JlDJUSTEB,   (as  THB  CLAIMANT  BEGABD9  HIM.) 


12  MRS.   LEARY^S   COW. 

He  will  cut  down  your  claims,  he  will  cut  up  your  proofs, 

He  will  riddle  your  case  through  its  warps  and  its  woofs, 

And  search  all  your  houses  from  cellars  to  roofs 

For  a  sliver  by  which  he  may  fasten  a  quibble 

And  curtail  your  claim  to  a  bite  or  a  nibble. 

And  then  when  you  think  he  is  ready  for  payment 

He  will  make  you  regret  you  were  ever  a  claimant, 

By  charging  you  discount  for  those  sixty  days, 

Or  vexing  you  further  with  needless  delays. 

These  awful  adjusters  !  they  should  be  ashamed 

To  ply  a  vocation  so  loudly  defamed. 


AS  HE  REGARDS  HIMSEU?— A  MUCH  ABUSED  INDIVIDUAL. 

What's  the  good  of  insurance  if  not  to  pay  losses  ? 
And  why  all  these  questions,  and  bothers  and  crosses  ? 
And  why  are  we  hampered  and  why  are  we  checked  ? 
Insurers  can  claim  (if  you'll  only  reflect) 
No  rights  which  it  is  not  our  right  to  reject ; 
No  rights  which  the  people  are  bound  to  respect. 


MRS.  leary's  cow.  13 

They  must  smile  and  be  patient,  and  out  with  their  purses, 
And  take  what  we  give  them,  our  kicks  or  our  curses ; 
Bow  down  to  the  cow  with  the  old  crumpled  horn 
That  kicked  over  the  lamp  that  %et  fire  to  the  bam 
That  caused  the  Great  Fire  in  Chicago  ! 


THIS  IS  Insurance.     Now,  satire,  farewell ! 
For  the  woes  which  the  fire-stricken  city  befel. 
Must  have  rung  like  the  clang  of  a  destiny  knell, 


BEU£F  IS  HEB  HANDS  AND  DEUGHT  ON  HEB  W1NG8. 


14  MRS.  leart's  cow. 

Through  the  years  of  prostration  and  clog  and  delay, 
Which  would  drag  unsupportable  all  the  sad  way, 
Through  which  her  redemption  and  rising  must  lay, 
Had  Insurance  not  spad,  like  an  angel  that  bx'ings 
Relief  in  her  hands  and  delight  on  her  wings. 


All  honor  we  give  to  the  craft  that  we  love  5 
It  has  for  its  motto  the  word  from  above  ; 
The  word  spoken  erst  by  omnipotent  love. 
The  burdens  of  each  in  Insurance  we  bear. 
And  its  benefits  all  its  participants  share. 


Rft:- 


